Sanaipei Tande Challenges Relationship Norms in Honest Talk on Love, Money, and Values
Veteran Kenyan songstress Sanaipei Tande recently shared refreshing insights on love, relationships, and societal expectations during an open conversation on Dr. Ofweneke’s popular podcast, Lessons @30.
Beyond Money: Rethinking the 50/50 Relationship Model
Addressing the much-debated concept of 50/50 relationships, Tande challenged the idea that equality in partnerships should be measured solely in financial terms.
“When people say 50/50, they’re usually referring to money,” she noted. “But it’s already 50/50 in many different ways.”
She pointed to the often-overlooked contributions women make at home — from childcare to household management — as equally valuable. “The things I do in the house — making sure the kids are okay, school runs, preparing lunch, shopping — that’s already part of the split,” she explained.
Tande emphasized that balance in relationships should be personalized:
“It’s very unfair for me to say every woman should do what I do. It’s about finding what works in your own relationship.”
On ‘Girlfriend Allowance’: “That Sounds Like a Joke”
Tande didn’t hold back when asked about the trending concept of girlfriend allowance — a monetary stipend some women expect from partners.
“That sounds like a joke,” she said bluntly. “An allowance? I’m not from that school of thought.”
Money Isn’t Everything: Her Personal Experience
Opening up about her dating history, Tande revealed that she’s dated partners who were not financially equal to her. In one instance, she recalled being the one with a car while her partner had none.
“Would I drive him? Yeah. Why not? What’s wrong with that?” she said, reinforcing her belief that love shouldn’t be based on wealth.
“Why do I want your money? I’ve got mine.”
Tande attributes her financial independence and elegance — often mistaken online for being high-maintenance — to her upbringing. “My dad did well. My mom did well. They gave me the space to grow, learn, and engage with people from all walks of life.”
Core Values Over Appearances
For Tande, lasting relationships are grounded in values — not appearances or status. One key lesson she learned from her father has stuck with her:
“Be very careful about the family you marry into. If they don’t share your values, you will clash.”
She also dismissed the popular idea that “opposites attract,” saying she prefers shared interests, humor, and aligned goals in a partner.
Marriage Isn’t the Final Destination
Tande also spoke candidly about marriage, noting that it’s not everyone’s end goal — and shouldn’t be. She emphasized that a relationship’s worth isn’t determined by public validation.
“Just because I don’t post it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. It doesn’t have to be in the public eye to be real.”
A Life Philosophy Rooted in Authenticity
Summing up Tande’s perspective, Dr. Ofweneke noted:
“Just be yourself. And I think every question she’s answered has come from a place of not caring what the world thinks.”
In a world full of expectations, Sanaipei Tande continues to champion self-awareness, independence, and genuine connection — on her own terms.
